Saturday, August 8, 2009

boobs....boobs...boobs

Bowling balls….that’s what my boobs have felt like for the past two days! My milk is in and Caylee has been eating like a champ! There is such a difference in her appearance now. She has definitely been gaining weight.

After a bumpy start (as far as breastfeeding) things started to get easier…until my breasts turned into large, hard, painful bowling balls.

I think that last night was officially our hardest night together. She cried off and on from 1:46am-4:47am and then again from 6:57am-9:30am…

So here’s what happened….Caylee had an absolute melt down because she just could not latch on properly. My poor baby cried…no screamed and screamed for HOURS! I finally decided to pump a little and see if that helped my bowling balls shrink enough for her to eat. It probably would have, however she was already too frustrated and decided to just cry/scream.

So, I spent a few minutes pumping and then HAD to feed her with a bottle. It broke my heart because I really wanted to EBF (exclusively breastfeed) for at least 2 months to prevent nipple confusion. She had to eat though, so in the end I guess I did what was best for her.

She had about 3.5-4 oz and then passed out. It was on one hand a relief (she seemed SO much happier) but on the other I felt like I’d done something wrong.

Having an inconsolable baby (alone) can be terrifying as a new mom. It took everything in me to not break down crying right along with her. We made it through the night though just like we’ll make it through every other hard night.

I’m really hoping that I don’t have to bottle feed again, but have milk waiting in the fridge just in case!


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